21.12.18 Who We Were and Who We Are

By Scott Shephard

As a photographer I find it interesting that a photo, including this self portrait, can reveal much about a subject, including time, place, dress and possibly mood. But a casual photo such as this rarely reveals what the subject is thinking. In this case I was probably thinking that I hoped the self-timer mechanism on the Canon film camera I set up on a tripod worked. (It did, though the focus isn’t quite right. Oh, well . . . ) Beyond that, I have no clue of what’s going on inside my head.

In this photo I would guess that I am in my 30s and I am posing in back door of an old farm house I returned to many times over the years. Interestingly, neither the house nor the person pictured here exist any more. The farmstead was bulldozed and burned.

My physical transformation has been much less dramatic. But like the old house, my shape has shifted. I wore jeans with a 32” waist back then. Today, I’ve moved to 34”. Back then I could bound down a set of stairs. Today, I carefully hold the hand rail while looking at my feet. Back then I could sit on the floor and spring back up. Today, if I’m unwise enough to get on the floor, I need some kind of external aid to get me back on my feet. Today, I bleed so easily when scratched, I carry a bandaid in my pocket. I guess you’d have to say that, aside from having the same genes (not jeans), I am devolving.

But, if evolution is the opposite and is ”the gradual development of something, especially from a simple to a more complex form,” then I have evolved. My world is bigger, more focused and more interesting than it was 30 years ago. And me? I won’t bore you with the details other than to say that at age 68, my life is as good as it’s ever been. I credit you and all the other blessings in my life for getting me where I am today.

Camera Unknown

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