By Scott Shephard
“Is this a huge mistake?”
Those were Deb’s sentiments, not mine. But she has always been the more practical part of our relationship. Me? I couldn’t wait to get married. But why was she skeptical? A little background might help.
First, because I had accepted an internship with the US Customs Service in Washington, DC, we had been apart all summer. I had driven out to DC in my mom’s car and had spent a wonderful summer in an amazing place. Meanwhile, back in South Dakota, Deb had way too much time to wonder whether I was “the right person.”
Second, we were rightfully convinced by Deb’s parents that it would be unwise to marry if at least one of us wasn’t gainfully employed. But neither one of us had a job. Deb was going to summer school at USD to graduate a year early and I had a whole year of college left. Beyond that, I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to be “when I grew up.” Maybe a college professor . . . ?
In the end, Deb and her parents and my Mom and Dad all came out to DC to help with our wedding. It was held in a small chapel in a huge Baptist church in Alexandria, Virginia. There was an organist in the main sanctuary practicing for a funeral to be held later in the day. While the faint tones of Bach’s “Toccata and Fuge in D Minor” wafted through the chapel, the pastor asked if “we took [each other] to be lawfully wedded?” And we did.
I can’t speak for Deb but being married to her has been easy. We both graduated from college and went off to work - she as a social worker for the Good Samaritan Society and me as an English teacher. We have rarely fought, though my decision to get my second sailboat caused serious stress. She refused to cosign on the loan. But the marriage survived.
I am a better person because of Deb. I am right brained, occasionally impetuous and sometimes selfish - even in my 70s. She makes lists, gets things done and is as selfless as anyone I know.
More than anything, though, beyond being my best friend, my wife and the only woman I have ever really loved, she is my North Star
She is always there. She is reliable. She is always offering direction. Without her, I would be lost. Though I may not always show it, I love her as much as I ever have. I’m lucky man.
